If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud.
You may remember back in 2003 when Homeland Security Czar Tom Ridge recommended a healthy supply of duct tape to ward off terrorist attacks. Little did we all know, the Homeland Security Department also created Ready.gov to teach us how to be "ready" for a terrorist attack as well. Here the government provides the extremely entertaining "Ready Kids" section of the site, featuring a family of Brazilian Jaguars preparing to defend themselves against the impending Al Qaeda threat. The government also provided nervous citizens with a series of pictorial instructions on what to do if disaster strikes.
Unfortunately, the pictures are so ambiguous it's tough to determine just what the right course of action is. Fortunately safenow.org has taken the liberty of explaining these images. Take for example:
The appropriate caption being "If you spot terrorism, blow your anti-terrorism whistle. If you are Vin Diesel, yell really loud."
Or try also:
Michael Jackson is a terrorist. If you spot this smooth criminal with scary eyes, run away now.
We are all truly fortunate to have Safenow.org here to protect us from terrorism. Stay Vigilant!