apple iphone vs. my nokia 6030

vs.






Everyone knows that Apple's new iPhone is changing the way we look at phones; reshaping the telecommunications industry; bridging the gap between computers, the internet, and consumer electronics; and ushering in the age of the personal space travel. What no one knows is how the iPhone stacks up to my venerable Nokia 6030, aka "the Brick". It's time to settle this matter once and for all. Let's see how this pans out.

-Functionality
The iPhone uses state of the art multi-touch technology to allow users to manipulate a screen without the use of buttons. The iPhone also runs Mac OS X and uses Safari to browse the internet. The Nokia uses buttons. It has no operating system because it is a phone, not a machine from the future. The internet comes to the iPhone by way of the old EDGE network, which is slower than 3G, but the internet comes to the Nokia by way of black magic, although it actually does work. Technically. Winner: iPhone

-Features
The iPhone can display photos and play videos and music. It also has full access to Google Maps, email, and Skynet (which will shortly become self-aware and destroy humanity unless the Terminator goes back in time to save John Connor). But all of that sucks in comparison to Tetris, which runs on my Nokia, but not on the Apple. Winner: Nokia

-Price
An iPhone will set you back $500-600 or so. My Nokia cost about $15 with service. I can also throw my Nokia against a wall and it will still function. Will an iPhone? Will anyone even risk trying it? Also, for those of you who tend to get drunk and lose your cellphones (ie: female Facebook users), it's better to lose a Nokia. Winner: Nokia

-Scoring Chicks
Adding a girl's digits into your iPhone instantly labels you as a huge dork...but a rich dork. Entering that number into your beat-up Nokia just makes you look cheap. Plus, you can play "New Slang" for your future lover from your iPhone to show her how sensitive you are. Better yet, just cue up Garden State. Winner: iPhone

-Picking Up Guys
Any girl looking to pick up a cute guy will certainly benefit from having an iPhone, as most men will be drawn towards it like The Exterminators towards Zardoz and will inevitably be impressed by a female's ability to use it. Winner: iPhone

-Conlusion
So which phone wins this scientific head-to-head contest? Clearly, the iPhone has some advantages, such as full access to the internet, navigation capabilities, and all of the features of an iPod. Everything is interwoven fairly seamlessly by way of the most user-friendly operating system on the planet and innovative touch screen technology. Yet for $485-585 less, you can get an indestructible phone that can a) make phone calls, and b) play Tetris. So although the iPhone has a lot to offer, in the end, the Nokia emerges as the clear winner.